The Job

I raise five kids - serve them breakfast, make their lunches, walk them to school, read their school notes, shop, cook, clean, check homework. S. does brush the girls' hair most mornings. That is what I do right now for a couple of reasons. The first is that I have never fallen into a vocational calling which stirs the soul, and S. has. She loves what she does and feels it a dream-come-true to teach those students every day. If I can free her up on this end to enjoy that calling, then I am more than willing to do so. Coupled with that, though, is her total removal of herself from any role as parent. She seems incredibly preoccupied with that job given that it is part-time. There may be a chicken-and-the-egg problem presented here: I do all the work at home so that she might find joy in her calling, but she pulls away and leaves me with all the work at home because I do not leave the house for a monetary job.

I understand that I move in largely conservative, traditional circles which do not like to see a man taking care of home and children while the wife works. Those voices which tell me to leave the house and clock in somewhere, leaving the kids to some sort of childcare -- they make sense according to their presuppositions. But it is the egalitarian voices echoing the same critique which strike me as odd and untrue to their convictions. Is it not a job to keep a house well, managing all the funds, keeping the vehicles in good shape, overseeing the children's education and healthcare? I doubt very much that either of the above camps have demanded that a woman raising five children also find employment outside the home.

S. has demanded that I find a vocation which is local and fits within the hours she allots. I am loathe to even begin looking, first because I have very limited skills in that area. All of my jobs have fallen into my lap over the years. I can understand her frustration at becoming the economic engine for the home, but at the same time I should think some thanks would be in order for making her vocational calling a reality through significant self-sacrifice.